Friday, November 05, 2010

Wanting and waiting....

Trying to ConceiveLast December, NS and I decided to start trying to add one more baby to this family of ours. Four seems like a really nice round number, and there's always that chance we'd be able to have a daughter to raise since we've got so many sons already, and even if we don't get that chance, we figure four boys will be just as much fun and chaos as three. So, a win-win situation, really.

We did take a couple months off from trying to conceive to avoid a December/January due date since we will be flying to Illinois for the holidays this year. But, alas, we are in cycle nine, and no pretty double-lined tests to congratulate us on our efforts yet. It's weird being in this place now, having conceived twins the first cycle of trying and having conceived twice while trying to avoid it with birth control pills. We're supposed to be pregnant by the end of the year to give us six months of adjustment before NS gets out of the Navy. I hope and pray that it will happen in that timeline. I'm afraid if we don't conceive and decide to stop trying, then there will never be a fourth child to join us. That thought makes me so incredibly sad. It makes my heart hurt and feel hollow and empty, and I don't want to have to come to terms with that. Please pray for our miracle or send us as many positive thoughts as you can spare.

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