Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Unspoken...

A friend and I were chatting this morning, and she mentioned something her husband said to her about a picture he saw of her. His comment was about how that picture had been taken when she still did her hair and makeup every day. This obviously wasn't a compliment on his part, and it made her feel a bit guilty and scrutinized and underappreciated. I don't know how something like that wouldn't make her feel that way. Of course, that picture was also taken prior to the birth of her two year-old and when she was working full-time outside the home, when she had not only the time but also the sense of necessity to have a very put-together personal presentation. I've absolutely found myself in similar circumstances, finding very little time or motivation to put in half an hour or more to style my hair and apply a layer of perfection to my skin. When you know the only reason you'll leave the house is to go grocery shopping, it's hard to muster the justification for taking extra time on your appearance when you could be doing something that seems more important or meaningful.

Thankfully, no one in my life ever took the time to make mention of this change in my routine, though. But, just like I've never been critiqued over my lack of primping, I also rarely hear compliments about how I look when I do put more effort forth. I have a feeling that this type of situation would be very bothersome for many women, and I'll admit, the implied correlation between his silence and his level of admiration for me has crossed my mind once or twice, though these thoughts are always squashed briefly after they pop up. Why? Because NS is quite adept at showing his feelings for me. And, honestly, that is a much better love language for me. Words can be spoken and mean very little; actions speak to me in a way words cannot. Physical displays of affection and love mean so much more to me in the grand scheme of who I am and how my past has shaped my mind. I wouldn't dare give up something so clearly understood and conveyed to me in trade of more verbal praise, which, it seems, can also come packaged with occasional verbal reproach.

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