Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Purely joyous Halloween...

pumpkins after darkWe had a perfect night of trick-or-treating tonight (with the sad exception of NS getting stuck with a duty day today and not being able to be with us).

For the past few years, the boys have had their candy-begging experiences at local malls; it does not compare to the thrill and excitement of walking the neighborhood and seeing the decorations and the scary antics of kids too old to make the rounds for their own benefit. Since we are now living in a neighborhood full of families with young children (in military housing), this year seemed to be the year to alter tradition.

M and J thoroughly enjoyed their time tonight, and it was such a joy to witness them running up to doors and people, holding out their pumpkins, and checking the goods out as they walked away.

We gutted and carved pumpkins Saturday night but left them inside until tonight, which turned out to be a good thing since the bugs attacked within minutes of putting them out. The boys were so anxious to get going once I explained how to get candy from the's a miracle they managed to take a few bites of dinner before we left.

J and M at ends of family pumpkin trail

Hope y'all had a great night, too.

Tomorrow begins the NaBloPoMo challenge; let's pray I won't need someone coming to poke me with sticks to actually remember to post every day;>

Monday, October 22, 2007

It's a...

baby boy bear

Guess my mother's intuition was right. For now, he'll still be referred to as Baby Woo-Woo, but after birth he will be called Li'l Man X, or LMX for short;> He looks perfectly healthy and even gave us a thumbs up as reassurance.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Li'l Man X or Li'l Miss J...

So, tomorrow is the big day, the day NS and I go in for an ultrasound that is meant to assure us that all is well with Baby Woo-Woo but also the one that should be able to tell us which name to have the boys practice. Time to make your predictions and see if you agree with everyone else or me;>

My pregnancy experience thus far:

- Some all-day/night nausea with no vomitting starting between weeks 6 and 7 and lasting through 10. I've even had a few spells in the past week, much more minor and fleeting, though. (I had no m/s with the boys' pregnancy and a couple weeks of all-day nausea and a few days of puking with Baby Angel, although the additional hormones from birth control pills may have contributed to that.)

- Worst acne of my life (nothing like this with either previous pregnancy).

- Belly is high and wide.

- No extra hair or nail growth, actually losing more than usual amounts of hair from my head.

- Cravings are all over the board but have been leaning more towards sweets and away from meat lately; I had a period of loving dill pickles; I still cherish my ice cream and fruits (watermelon, pineapple, apples, grapes, bananas); I could eat cheese and potatoes (not always together) any time.

- Face is definitely more oily and have had some oil-slicks on my hair.

- Baby's heartrate is high 140's to 150's.

- Emotionally unstable (more so that either of previous pregnancies).

- Chinese calendar predicts girl.

- Ring tests say girl.

- J, along with NS, grandma, co-workers, and even a passing comment from the last OB I saw, etc. all say girl.

- Me? I seem to be alone with thinking this baby is boy. M is with me, but it's because he says only boys are babies. Truth be told, I have pondered the possibility that I've convinced myself it's a boy to avoid even the slightest twinge of disappointment if it really is.

If there is more you could possibly want to know before venturing your guess, let me know. Have fun!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Oh, a silly little quiz...

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

It's always a good time to see what kind of analysis you get about yourself by answering a few multiple choices questions;>

Monday, October 15, 2007

October 15th...

I'm not sure if anyone has scrolled down the sidebar recently to see the October 15th banner, but the day, somewhat unfortunately, means a lot to many, many women and their families.

Today is a day set aside for all of those families who have survived the loss of a baby, whether that baby was lost during pregnancy or shortly after. Without having experienced the loss of Baby Angel last year, I would never have known how much of an impact a baby never to be born could have on someone's life. While I find solace in knowing there is a day we can all take a moment to remember the forever-innocent, I am aware that my memory of Baby Angel will never be contained to one day of the year. Thankfully, I am able to look forward to the beginning of a new life next year as I reminisce about the life that changed mine last year.

So, I will conclude this memorial by sharing something that was shared with me by another mother remembering her lost baby today.

"A Pair of Shoes"

I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Author unknown

Remembering Our Babies

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Where I earn my money...

So, I think it's been about a month now since I started working from home. Quite simply, I love it. It feels natural and comfortable and not much different from when I drove to an office that wasn't in my home.

And, well, since fringes asked, I thought I'd give you a peek at the place from where I do my work. You might, especially if you click on it to see the original size, see things like an aquarium with Marmaduke the betta, my lucky bamboo gifted to me by my former office mate (before we all acquired individual offices), a bag of dark chocolate M&Ms, pictures of M and J taped to the monitor, and a box of business cards I can't imagine I'll ever need, which is topped by my fetal doppler and a hand towel for wiping the goop off my belly. Offices with windows that actually have a view outside are fabulous;>

woo's home office

Friday, October 12, 2007

I'm hungry and my boobs keep hurting...

That's all I've got for today. Check back tomorrow for more;>

Friday, October 05, 2007

You know you're pregnant when...

the cereal, eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, and french toast that you have within reach don't sound good for breakfast. Instead you heat up a serving of enchilada casserole, pour some salsa in a bowl for the tortilla chips, and want nothing more than to compliment it all with the perfect Mexican side dish...a couple of dill pickle spears;> Of course, you're too full from the casserole and chips to eat the pickles with breakfast, so you're stuck pairing them with lunch.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

If I want anyone to participate, I guess I'll need to post...

De-Lurk DayWell, it has apparently been declared the Day to De-Lurk and Comment in the blogosphere, and while I've been slightly better with commenting than posting lately, I figure I'd participate and spread some comment-love. Then, I thought, I must invite others to do this as well, which sort of means I need to put up a post;>

First, let's get the update out of the way.

I'm well and getting to a better place than I was when I last posted. I've not yet arrived to "better place", but I'm on my way, and I imagine I'll be able to get there sooner than later. Our BIG ultrasound is scheduled for the 22nd, and once that goes well, "better place" should be right around the corner.

NS and I talked about some stuff that was bothering both of us. He was very bothered by some stuff that I was completely unaware of, and the stuff that's been swirling in my head (intense fear, numbness, lack of control over my moods and behavior...basically the stuff I expressed in that last post) wasn't anything he was aware of, either. After we talked about everything, we had a bit more understanding as to where each of us has been lately, and it helped. I felt better knowing that he knows what's going on with me from my point of view, and his mood seemed to be improved as well. He's out on another short tour of the Atlantic until the 19th and will then be home for a couple weeks before leaving for the three-month partial world tour; let's hope we have a great couple of weeks while he's home.

It seems that IFKAMH is planning to visit that same weekend NS gets home...awesome homecoming, I know (see now why I can't just assume those two weeks will be wonderful?). I am dreading this visit so much. I feel completely unprepared. I wish I could somehow convince him that this first visit shouldn't involve the boys at all but just us adults, discussing how these visits should go and covering ground rules and frequency and such, but since I can't seem to convince him to see my point of view on anything, I know it won't happen. I think his mom is coming as well, but I just don't know for sure. That was the original plan, but I haven't heard from her about it in a while. I hope she does simply because I think she needs to be involved in the discussion of what is actually in the best interest of M and J. I need to know where their logic comes from because I know where mine came from.

See? I told you, not yet at "better place"...gawd, I'm depressing myself with this stuff. Do I have anything remotely happy or lighthearted to say? Let's see...ah, yes.

M and J have their Halloween costumes! J has chosen once again to be Nemo. (Anyone need an XXS Nemo costume? Because now we have the XXS from last year and the XS that he'll wear this year;>) He's smitten with that fish, even tells his baby Nemo (the little stuffed one he carries around often) that he loves it and gives it hugs and kisses. It's very sweet;> M? Well, he has become obsessed with trains, specifically of the Thomas the Tank Engine variety, so he has chosen to go dressed as Thomas this year. If I recall correctly, he's worn that costume for at least a few minutes every day since we got it last weekend.

I've got a ton of pictures to put up on Flickr...stuff from New York and Chicago, the boys first professional haircut, and even one of M in that Thomas costume from Sunday. I'll try to get to that real soon.

Time to de-lurk, even if you just tell me how depressed I made you and how much you're looking forward to the real me returning, especially now that I've signed up for NaBloPoMo again, forcing myself to post something every single day for an entire 30 days. I'll start my de-lurking rounds now.