Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The silence was brutal...

orange moonDriving home from an after-dinner Cold Stone Creamery treat, we saw an orangish-yellow moon hanging in the sky. The boys happily pointed it out and chattered about it behind us. Then, J makes this declaration that the red spots are Earth. Well, obviously, this is not true; those spots he's most likely referring to are the craters and valleys most of us have grown to love as "the man in the moon". NS and I let him in on this revelation, not really thinking much about what we were saying or how he might take it.

Then, the silence.

J wouldn't say anything else. He didn't refute what we told him about the spots not being Earth since we are on Earth nor the factoid about the moon revolving around us, Earth...he didn't say a word. Being that looking into the back of my car after sundown is like looking into the great abyss of space with all its pitch blackness, it was hard to tell what his reaction was, but during those few but long minutes before arriving home, I felt like he was disappointed and disheartened, simply shattered by our reasoning. I could almost swear I heard him pouting.

Of course, he was all smiles when he hopped out of the car. But, he still didn't say another word about the moon...even as M wondered aloud about it hiding behind the house.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Well, I do like straw hats...

Even if I don't wear them;>

You're Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!

by Mark Twain

With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black
and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less
it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time
understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your
adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

This is a baby step. I know I left y'all hanging about NYC, and then I took off for a week to Chicagoland without even telling, and I've gone and had an uneventful first appointment without making a sincerest apologies. I may muster enough energy to post again later today. No promises, though.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Time for an update, huh?

Thanks for checking on me, ladies. I'm well.

So, let's see how things have gone in the past couple weeks...

* I waited and waited to get my OB referral letter in the mail. On the last day of the 7 business days I was to wait before calling, it arrived. Unfortunately, it did not contain approval for the doctor I requested. I'd asked to be referred to a civilain OB, one who is part of a group my mom recommended. Well, these military folk like to keep things in house, so my letter only approved my care at the closest military treatment facility. I could still see the doctor I requested, but at the expense of a $300 deductible + 50% of all costs after that. So, we'll give the military hospital a shot. I'll not go into details of how upsetting this letter was for me at the time. There were some tears, and I'll leave it at that.
* I made my first appointment at said facility, and it will be bright and early Thursday, the 23rd. The nurse I spoke with to schedule this visit did not set any expectations other than to arrive 15 minutes early, so I'm not sure if I'll just be answering questions for paperwork and getting weight/blood pressure/urine check or if the visit will be more involved...and possibly more exciting.
* Monday morning, on my way to drop the boys off at daycare to head to work, a woman attempted to change lanes into my car. The damage isn't terrible, a blackish stripe on my passenger side, but she took off. The weird thing was that she had followed me. I was just crossing the road to turn into daycare as this happened, so I continued across, as did she. She had started to pull off to the right, but since I needed to go the left anyhow, and there were parking lots to the left and nothing to the right where she was going, I continued to the left. She followed. She pulled into the bank parking lot whereas I went farther down to the daycare lot. I watched her get out of her car and start to look at possible damage she'd done to her vehicle as I got M out of the car. I stepped to the back of my vehicle to make sure she saw me and knew where I was. I let J out of the car, grabbed my camera and a pen and scrap of paper, and as I headed towards where she'd parked, I saw that she had left and was now moving to turn down the road we'd just crossed. Y'all, this is not the way to start the week, especially when you're pregnant and weeping over Scrubs episodes because your hormones have taken over. I really had to work to fight back the tears as I walked the boys down to their classroom.
* Later that afternoon, I spoke with IFKAMH. Well, it started as speaking, but the tone of my voice may have become elevated to another level before we were done. He's still insisting on coming see the boys. I had come to terms with this being a possibility and had thought about some ways to try to explain him to the boys. But, I'm not nearly as okay with it now. I was barely okay with it to begin with, and now that my suspicions were confirmed, that his mother had guilted him into this, I really wish I could just tell him no. I was so hurt when I last spoke with his mom and she was telling me about how she had finally gotten him to come around, by telling him that she would disown him if he didn't do what she wanted. I told her long ago to not put pressure on him since it has no lasting effects. He's 30 years old, and as much of a disappointment he must be to her, she cannot change who he is. Since his sudden insistence on coming to visit was shortly following several weekend trips he'd made to help his mom with her house, I thought she might have had some influence on his behavior; I just didn't realize she'd given him an ultimatum. She's planning to visit at the end of this month (most likely he will come with her), and I am going to have to talk to her privately about how I feel about this. It is not her place to force his involvement. Her inclusion in the boys' lives has absolutely nothing to do with his, and I'm not sure that she really believes this. What was upsetting to me as I talked to IFKAMH on Monday, though, was his demeaning the boys' relationship with NS and his imaginary belief that he didn't abandon his children almost two and half years ago. He just doesn't even give half a forethought to his words before he speaks, so he says things like, "They'll get over that crap," while I'm explaining that the boys have bonded with NS and feel he is their dad and I will not allow him to undermine that bond. That was the first of several statements that escaped his mouth that sent me into a rage, only partially induced by pregnancy hormones.
* Thankfully, while the beginning of my week started less than pleasantly, last night, NS returned home, and tomorrow, we will head up to New York City for the weekend. It's our late birthday celebration. We'll be dining at Del Frisco's and wandering through Times Square and doing as many non-kid-friendly activities as we can squeeze into two days;>

Thursday, August 02, 2007

For those that haven't already seen this...

Whymommy posted about her diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer. I'm not going to copy and paste the entire post, but I encourage those of you who have not read this elsewhere or who have never heard of more than one type of breast cancer to click that link and read. This is a very aggressive and often deadly type of breast cancer and is so difficult to detect and diagnose because it can appear as a simple infection with a red area or changes in the skin on the breast but without that tell-tale lump we're always told to look for. Ladies, ANY changes in your breasts should be examined by a doctor, and if you ever feel like your doctor is not taking your concerns seriously, then find another doctor as soon as possible. Really, that last part applies to everyone. I first heard about this type of cancer from a video clip someone sent me of a news story that had been done on it. They interviewed both average women and doctors, and even the doctors were not familiar with this cancer. Doctors are not perfect and do not know everything; if yours is not willing to admit that and try to research what might be causing problems for you, then they are not the best doctor for you.