Friday, November 09, 2007

I need to buy stock in tissues...

I had another really emotionally turbulent day today.

My first sobbing jag teary-eyed spell was triggered by a baby/birth show, House of Babies. This particular episode was about pregnant women struggling with body image, to which I could completely relate. One of the midwives was commenting about how the couples with fathers who kissed and caressed and talked to the baby bellies had lower incidences of women feeling unattractive in their pregnant bodies. Of course, this just served to remind me of the fact that NS won't be able to see my belly for the next few months, let alone touch it or talk to it.

Thereafter, the remainder of my day was periodically interrupted by random crying. There was the same thoughts provoking the tears each time, the same ones that had me crying all day on Monday and partially on Tuesday, but I'm really not used to feeling so incredibly out of control with my emotions like this. It's difficult for me to just accept the hormonal imbalances and surges for drawing these overpowering reactions out of me and to just allow them to run their course. While I know what's going on is beyond my control and that it will pass as it always has, I still feel this overwhelming desire to "fix" it, to direct my focus on what I can be thankful for, because that is generally how I try to live my life.

I despise feeling like I must be insane as I'm crying over things that shouldn't make someone cry (like when I cried on Tuesday because I was sad that so much attention is being given to Christmas when we haven't even had a chance to think about Thanksgiving) and then immediately laughing at myself for all this silly crying.

Oh, imagine how much fun post-partum is going to be;>


Chebbles' Mama said...

I am SO WITH YOU on this. I've found some of Chebbles' books to be particularly dangerous on this front -- I got her a new one called "Grandfather's Wrinkles" and it's really good, but CRIPES did it make me cry. And "When There Were Giants" made me practically suicidal with emotion. We're going to be NO FUN when it's postpartum time, I tell you!

NoRegrets said...

As long as you can laugh too!