Thursday, August 09, 2007

Time for an update, huh?

Thanks for checking on me, ladies. I'm well.

So, let's see how things have gone in the past couple weeks...

* I waited and waited to get my OB referral letter in the mail. On the last day of the 7 business days I was to wait before calling, it arrived. Unfortunately, it did not contain approval for the doctor I requested. I'd asked to be referred to a civilain OB, one who is part of a group my mom recommended. Well, these military folk like to keep things in house, so my letter only approved my care at the closest military treatment facility. I could still see the doctor I requested, but at the expense of a $300 deductible + 50% of all costs after that. So, we'll give the military hospital a shot. I'll not go into details of how upsetting this letter was for me at the time. There were some tears, and I'll leave it at that.
* I made my first appointment at said facility, and it will be bright and early Thursday, the 23rd. The nurse I spoke with to schedule this visit did not set any expectations other than to arrive 15 minutes early, so I'm not sure if I'll just be answering questions for paperwork and getting weight/blood pressure/urine check or if the visit will be more involved...and possibly more exciting.
* Monday morning, on my way to drop the boys off at daycare to head to work, a woman attempted to change lanes into my car. The damage isn't terrible, a blackish stripe on my passenger side, but she took off. The weird thing was that she had followed me. I was just crossing the road to turn into daycare as this happened, so I continued across, as did she. She had started to pull off to the right, but since I needed to go the left anyhow, and there were parking lots to the left and nothing to the right where she was going, I continued to the left. She followed. She pulled into the bank parking lot whereas I went farther down to the daycare lot. I watched her get out of her car and start to look at possible damage she'd done to her vehicle as I got M out of the car. I stepped to the back of my vehicle to make sure she saw me and knew where I was. I let J out of the car, grabbed my camera and a pen and scrap of paper, and as I headed towards where she'd parked, I saw that she had left and was now moving to turn down the road we'd just crossed. Y'all, this is not the way to start the week, especially when you're pregnant and weeping over Scrubs episodes because your hormones have taken over. I really had to work to fight back the tears as I walked the boys down to their classroom.
* Later that afternoon, I spoke with IFKAMH. Well, it started as speaking, but the tone of my voice may have become elevated to another level before we were done. He's still insisting on coming see the boys. I had come to terms with this being a possibility and had thought about some ways to try to explain him to the boys. But, I'm not nearly as okay with it now. I was barely okay with it to begin with, and now that my suspicions were confirmed, that his mother had guilted him into this, I really wish I could just tell him no. I was so hurt when I last spoke with his mom and she was telling me about how she had finally gotten him to come around, by telling him that she would disown him if he didn't do what she wanted. I told her long ago to not put pressure on him since it has no lasting effects. He's 30 years old, and as much of a disappointment he must be to her, she cannot change who he is. Since his sudden insistence on coming to visit was shortly following several weekend trips he'd made to help his mom with her house, I thought she might have had some influence on his behavior; I just didn't realize she'd given him an ultimatum. She's planning to visit at the end of this month (most likely he will come with her), and I am going to have to talk to her privately about how I feel about this. It is not her place to force his involvement. Her inclusion in the boys' lives has absolutely nothing to do with his, and I'm not sure that she really believes this. What was upsetting to me as I talked to IFKAMH on Monday, though, was his demeaning the boys' relationship with NS and his imaginary belief that he didn't abandon his children almost two and half years ago. He just doesn't even give half a forethought to his words before he speaks, so he says things like, "They'll get over that crap," while I'm explaining that the boys have bonded with NS and feel he is their dad and I will not allow him to undermine that bond. That was the first of several statements that escaped his mouth that sent me into a rage, only partially induced by pregnancy hormones.
* Thankfully, while the beginning of my week started less than pleasantly, last night, NS returned home, and tomorrow, we will head up to New York City for the weekend. It's our late birthday celebration. We'll be dining at Del Frisco's and wandering through Times Square and doing as many non-kid-friendly activities as we can squeeze into two days;>

14 comments:

Belle - A Beauty livin with her Beast said...

Woo...it sounds like you have had a hell of a week....The trip to NY will be good for you. You situation with the boys hits all to close to home, my oldest daughters dad left her when she was 3 months old. My husband now has been her dad ever since. Her "real" dad was forced to get visitation rights. I never explained to her who he was becuase I knew he wouldnt be around long....he passed away a year after getting visitation. She only found out who he was last year, and was fine with it. Your boys, even if you dont realize it, know who is there to take care of them and who is there for show.

Tera said...

Don't you just hate when your week sucks?!

And hey, what color was hitandrunstupidbitch's car? If it was black, and least you can get the paint off...try Goo-Gone! I had a white picket fence at my last house that moved everytime I was coming home at night and forgot my glasses...Goo-Gone took the paint right off!

Dixie said...

I have no words for IFKAMH. Just that when the kids get older, they will hate him for abandoning them. Trust me. I know. I live it everyday.

Did you call the police on that bitch?? I would have. I'm pissed off and it didn't even happen to me!

Enjoy that trip girl, you deserve it!

Susan said...

I hope the weekend goes well!!

heather said...

forget the week, look forward to your weekend and definately have that talk with your former mother in law. be firm about it and make sure that she knows that any more interferance in the matter will not be tolerated. regardless of her intentions it's not helping matters any.

apostol said...

congratulations, I just "read" !!!!

Eunice said...

Oh my gosh. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at his actions now, seeing as it's still all about him...but I'm so sorry that your family is being put through this. I am sure that part of your ex MIL's ultimatum was founded in the fact that the boys have bonded w/ NS as their father. I'm sure she can't handle it. I hope that they both come to their senses and do what is right for the boys -- not for them.

NoRegrets said...

And how was the weekend?

Victoria said...

sorry about the icky car incident.

(and I love Scrubs muchly!)

Chebbles' Mama said...

I hear you on the HORMONES, sister. Anything remotely related to children (e.g., a sick little bug) makes me weepy!

heather said...

hope nyc was memorable for you and hubby. how are the boys? any fall -out from being away from them for a few days?

Dagromm said...

Time for another update Woo!

Susan said...

I hope you're doing ok, woo!

heather said...

just checking in.