Wednesday, April 25, 2007

To lighten the load on my mind...

I want each and every day to write something here, yet I can't seem to find the motivation or energy to do all the things I actually need to do, so the writing here never seems to get done, either. Right now, I'm saying the other stuff will wait for a bit while I write a little something here. The desire to write something here should then be satisfied for enough hours to allow my mind to focus on work...and dishes...and laundry...and vacuuming...

Enough of that. I'm not really trying to push myself into a depression.

Randomness during this first week of marriage:

* The U.S. Navy is not inclined to believe I am divorced without proper documentation. While they have no reservations about issuing me an ID card or allowing me to enroll for insurance benefits without this documentation, they are certain that NS is not permitted to change his paperwork to reflect a status of married without it. This really shouldn't have been a problem. An inconvenience since we'd wasted an hour at one base only to find out that we had to go to his home base and then driven half an hour to his home base to be turned away, yes; a problem, it shouldn't have been. Except, we had about a day and a half to make the changes to his paperwork before he had to go to sea again, and this was a good part of the day of that day and a half. By the time we left the place on Thursday, it was highly unlikely we'd get back before they closed, but we were going to try.

I raced inside while he waited in the car. Then, I found that I have no idea as to where my divorce paperwork has been stored. The place I thought it definitely should be, it was not. The next best place? Not there, either. Under the bed? Behind the bed? The kitchen cabinet? The boys' closet? My suitcases? With the Christmas bows? Anywhere in the apartment? No. Apparently, not in any of those places, either. Perhaps in the tote bag I drag to work on Mondays and take back home on Fridays? Nuh-uh (went into work just to check on that one). I cannot fathom what I have done with the folder in which this paperwork was kept. I know the deed paperwork that was also in that folder has been conveniently filed away with other FL house paperwork, but I don't even know when I did that. Maybe when I was doing my taxes? Clueless.

I frantically searched for any possible way to obtain this divorce documentation via fax or at least by overnight delivery to be received Friday morning. No luck. Of the minimal items that cannot be viewed and printed from the county website, domestic relations cases are on that short list. I was able to rush-order a copy to be received in 3-5 business days, so I did that; even if it wasn't going to get here before this deadline, I'd still need to have it when NS returns in 4 weeks and goes to update his paperwork. My best bet was my former attorney that handled the case, but they have not become more competent or less forgetful since the divorce. I called Thursday afternoon before 3. I explained my urgency (married into military and need copy of divorce decree overnighted to me for their records to be official). She seemed very understanding. She took my name and address and assured me she would pull my file to see if the paperwork was there and if it was, then it would be mailed to me, and if it was not, then she would call me back with information on how to request a copy from the county. Great. I could almost feel relieved. I received no call back, so one might think it safe to assume that the paperwork was in the file and in the mail. Nothing arrived on Friday. Still nothing has arrived from them, and still I have not received a call. So, they must train their staff to do this empty promising with failure to follow through because the glimmer of relief I let myself experience Thursday was only because it was not the same paralegal I'd dealt with during my divorce.

The copy that I rush-ordered arrived Monday. At least it wasn't as big an issue as NS thought it was going to be.

wedding band* Speaking of packages not arriving on Friday, the FedEx carrier did not appear at the front door to deliver my ring, either. When I called last week to check on the status of my order, my sales person promised overnight delivery once the work was finished. She said I should have it by the end of the week, by Friday, and that she'd email me updates on the progress. As of Friday morning, I'd still not gotten an update from her. I checked my email Friday after I got home from work because I was getting a little miffed with this lack of communication, and lo and behold, there was the shipping confirmation. Wonderful news that my ring was finally on its way to my hands, but not so wonderful that now delivery was going to be attempted on Monday when no one was going to be home.

The tracking information on Monday showed me that the package had been returned to the FedEx location around 3:30 that afternoon. If dinner with my friends, A and T, and T's hubby and baby was quick, then I might be able to make it there before 7. Considering we were meeting at 6, I was aware this was a very unlikely possibility. We don't finish dinner until almost 8. I come home to find nothing from FedEx. I mean, no door tag to even tell me they'd been there with a package for me. Why would they do this? I swear FedEx really doesn't want intended recipients to have their packages without having them first sent back to the sender to be reshipped. I think they may experience some sadistic pleasure in knowing they can cause people stress with expecting packages and not knowing when they might ever get them even though it was an overnight delivery. They may be trying to teach all the procrastinators of the world a lesson. Well, no big deal. The ring already missed the ceremony and didn't arrive before NS left, so one more day doesn't really matter at this point.

Last night, after I picked up the boys and stopped by the apartment to see if there was a door tag from FedEx since I didn't have the tracking information on me (no door tag, by the way), I drive over to the FedEx location. She finds my package's information, but although it was returned to the facility around 3:30 the day before, it won't be back until after they close this time. She asked if I'd like to request a hold to ensure that I could pick it up the following day. Trying not to sound too irritated, I told her, "Absolutely."

So, I rushed to the FedEx place early this afternoon, and now I have my official wedding band. It is rather gorgeous, all sparkly in the light;> Thank goodness the company I ordered it from is kind enough to inform me of the shipping and provide the FedEx tracking number because it seems FedEx was trying to hide my package from me.

* I was nodding my head a few times as I read RSG's co-dependency post. NS doesn't have boobs for me to be obsessed over, so that part was not one that I was nodding along with, but I have noticed an unpleasant change in myself when NS goes out to sea. I feel completely out of sorts, for at least the first week. Last time, I found myself up at all hours of the night, into the wee hours of the morning, doing random and useless, mind-numbing stuff, like ordering individual pieces of flatware or odd items of palm tree-adorned eatery so that we have a full eight-person service. I've complained about the cramped quarters of our living space before; my table seats only four, which pretty much excludes any guests; yet, I felt compelled to have these items. I also ordered some Threadless tees for all of us (1 for me, 2 for NS, 4 for M and J) when I saw a link to them on Sarcomical's blog. (Hope she got some sort of credit for my impulsive, sleep-deprived splurge.) What am I doing this time? Sleeping. I crashed Monday night, long before I wanted to. I should've crashed last night because I just felt exhausted, but I kept trying to convince myself that I'd feel better in another 15 minutes and then I'd do all that stuff I need and want to do, like dishes, yogalates, reading the book (check the sidebar), reading blogs, and oh yeah, writing something for my own blog. Instead, I didn't do anything until 11 o'clock, which is when I decided to look at some of those vacation rentals for our wedding reception party in June. I fell asleep a few times during that before I had to surrender to slumber and put the computer away. I have proclaimed to myself once again that tonight will be different, that tonight something productive will be done...we'll see.

* On the topic of vacation rentals for a wedding reception party, I am totally digging the way NS and I have gotten married. We tied the knot, just the two of us, last week. I'm striving to get pictures done in the first week of June. The party for friends and family in this area should be able to be held near the end of June. August, we fly up to Illinois to have another wedding reception party for the friends and family in that area. The honeymoon will probably be next year. That is the way to celebrate getting married, people. Spread that love and joy over the course of a year;>

* While we're talking about wedding pictures, I need to figure out whether I'm really okay with buying a wedding gown for the sake of the photos or just buying a less expensive non-bridal dress for them. I'm not quite sure yet. I'll probably go to a bridal shop this weekend to get a feel for the gowns available and whether or not anything captures my heart.

That's some of what I needed to get out. There is more, but time's long past up.


Chebbles' Mama said...

Congratulations again! You and I have an eerily similar wedding band, and I hope it brings you just as much good luck!

jomama said...

You have really bad luck with packages, don't you? I do too and it is frustrating just to read about it.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

chebbles' mama - Well, you have impeccably exquisite taste, dahling;> Thanks, I hope it does, too.

jomama - I can't think of a good experience I've ever had with FedEx. UPS is usually a good one for me with the exception of one package. I'm sorry to hear you have similar luck.

Susan said...

I'm glad you got your wedding band. It's natural to be out of sorts I'm sure. It's tough when they're gone.

They always have big "$99" dress sales around here. Hopefully you can catch one you like a lot.

FENICLE said...

YIKES!!! Did you break a mirror or open an umbrella inside the house? The wedding band is very pretty..I love simplicity. Hope everything else calms down so that you 2 can enjoy being newlweds.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

susan - I found a beautiful dress that retails for $800-1200 from a wholesale online shop for $299. They have a decent return policy, so I feel comfortable with the possibility that it may not look as great on me as I think it will. It dawned on me today how difficult wedding dress shopping was going to be with my boys, so I'm crossing my fingers this dress works out;>

fenicle - I don't recall doing anything that could have brought on that bad luck, but realistically, only the loss of my divorce paperwork was truly unexpected. NS thought he might not be able to find the place we needed to go on the base that's close to us and that we might still end up having to go to his home base. He knew somehow we'd be turned away since that seems to be what the personnel folks try to do. I had less than prompt service from my attorney while I was paying them, so I didn't expect much from them now that my case has been closed. And, I knew FedEx would be a problem since I can't remember ever having a good experience with them. Once I secure a photographer and figure out where we want to hold our party, everything will be just dandy in my newlywed life;>

Jonathan said...

Excellent post - and you found quite a lot to write about in the end :)

Glad the ring/marriage thing is sorted now. I know when I first got married I was paranoid about people knowing I was married... still am a little - I wanted people to know, but was also aware how stupid that sounds.

I guess it's just pride, isn't it :)