Monday, March 05, 2007

Pantyhose and stockings, whores and sexy white boys, beds...

Never, ever allow the thought that pantyhose will work just as well as stockings enter your mind again. Ever. In fact, you should toss all the pantyhose when you get home tonight. They both slide down, but it is infinitely sexier to readjust a thigh-high stocking trimmed with lace attached to a garter belt than to be pulling up random spots of tinted nylon...or to resort to pulling the waist of said tinted nylon up to your bra, giving serious consideration to just tucking it underneath the bra to ensure it doesn't succumb to the forces of gravity again. Unless I wore this pair of pantyhose while I was pregnant with the boys, there's no excuse for them forming these giant rolls on my knees. Knowing that the dress code at work while I was pregnant with them still allowed denim and capris and sandals every day of the week, the chance that I ever wore pantyhose during that time is zero, at best. I really should have just taken the extra few minutes this morning to find one of my garter belts and put on the stockings.


While I was running errands during my lunch break earlier, I drove past a car with windows that had been written on. This is certainly not anything overly unusual, but I must admit, I've never seen this type of stuff written on car windows.

Danielle loves him more than you ever did. You stupid whore. (on the rear window)

You are so sexy (for a white boy). (on window behind driver's)

I think there was another one, too, but I don't remember what it was, and he turned before I could switch to camera mode on my phone. Nothing about graduating or birthdays or getting married, not even a 'yay, team'. I was curious about how sexy he was, but I only saw his arm...definitely white.


J willingly slept in his bed last night...all night, not one request to go back down to the floor. I hope I'm not jinxing this change of attitude because he said he liked it and wanted to do it again tonight. Going through the pictures on my computer to pull out the shots for yesterday's post, he saw the one of him jumping on his bed right after we'd gotten them. He seemed all excited to see a picture of the inside of his bed, enough to go racing in his room to climb into it, then announcing that he would sleep in it when it was dark outside. I gave him much praise for being a big boy and advised him to tell his brother how cool sleeping in the bed is;>


Ariel said...

I'm now obsessed with how sexy that white boy was...Once I was out with belle and we were..slightly intoxicated (imagine) and she wrote all over a guys car with chapstick. Somehow a bottle of coke got poured on it too. For the record, it appears it's hard to get such substances off because he drove around for a few days with remarks on his car.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

hahaha...I would think the "wax on, wax off" motion should work for the chapstick;> But, that coke stuff? Heard that can eat through paint and rust.

Skyqueen said...

I've never worn a garter belt....I don't think I understood them. Seems sexy though. As for the pantyhose....ewwww I remember when I was a kid my mom told me that to keep them up I should put them on FIRST and THEN put my underwear on over them!! HAAAA!! I did that though out my youth. NEVER again.

The car with the writing on it: I would have honked up a frenzy!! Freakin GREAT!

The bed situation: YAY!! It's cool that you are letting him do it by himself. You must be a cool/hip newage mom. My mom would have WHIPPED MY ASS!! Good for you!

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

skyqueen - I don't even think my underwear are sturdy enough to keep these things from falling, but I'm telling you, I really wanted to just tuck the waist into my bra while I was in the bathroom this afternoon;>

I just really wish I could've gotten the camera ready in time to snap a pic of the car.

The bed thing was just not a fight worth fighting once I thought about it. Things like hitting, biting, and just general disrespect for mommy or daddy or others will get little boys in trouble, though. They're learning to fear mama's wrath even without ass-whippings;>

Dr.Jeeeol said...

Crap- my pantyhose never fall down. I guess my fat keeps them up :)

My fav car writing was (written by finger) "I wish my wife was tgis dirty."

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

dr. jeeeol - I've seen that car message, too. It is funny;>

Jonathan said...

I couldn't possibly comment from a male perspective about the relative merits of the garments you describe :)

You are right though. It must be genetic - in the male genome or something...

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