Tuesday, February 06, 2007

10 pieces of advice...

Schnozz's post of advice to herself today struck a chord with me, so I decided to give the me of today some advice as well.

1. Remember that a crying spell is warranted some times, especially in rememberance of Baby Angel. It is good that you can accept her loss as being "meant to be", but she's still your daughter, and the brevity of her existence will always be painful, so don't be afraid to ackowledge that with some tears.

2. Always keep in mind the impact she had on your life in those two months. You finally know the answer to the question of whether or not you want more children in your family. You are more secure in your love of NS because he truly is the type of man you thought IFKAMH was going to be. These are monumental things to have been accomplished in so little time by someone the world could not even see, so always remember that the pain of her loss was not without purpose.

3. Go back to school already. It really doesn't matter what you go for; just go. You might now understand that the world is full of liars embellishers and dumb people, so don't expect any employer to realize what they're missing out on just because you say so. They've had to deal with too many of those other people to just put their faith in you. You need to have something to back it up, and for some reason you don't ever need to understand, a bachelor's degree in something, anything, will help.

4. Drag your sleepy butt out of bed on time more days than not. You may have lucked out in having jobs where your timely arrival isn't crucial, so it is allowed to slide as long as you put in the time one way or another, but it may not always be that way. Just think of how great it is when you get to work when you want to and get to take your full hour for lunch and still get to leave when you want to. You can do it; the extra 15-20 minutes of sleep isn't worth being 30-45 minutes late...obviously rushing through the early morning routine isn't working out for you. Having to figure out if you can shorten your lunch time or if you'll have to stay later than usual is NOT a good start to your day, so knock it off.

5. Yes, you do need to make the time to do your yogalates workout. You will feel tremendously better about yourself for doing it, and it should even help get rid of the extra weight you despise carrying around these days. If you want to continue eating some of that bad stuff you crave (and you know there isn't a chance in hell you could go without forever and ever), then you especially need the health benefits of the workouts. Your health should make it to the top section on your list of priorities, certainly over watching t.v. shows that you could watch another time and definitely over those you are indifferent to.

6. Make a monthly budget, and stick to it...otherwise, the budget is simply a waste of your precious time. Stop relying on your savings account as a back-up to your checking account. You should be transferring money from checking to savings every month, not the other way around. That safety net is getting smaller and smaller; it's past time to start worrying about preserving what's left and building it back up.

7. Try again to talk sensibly to IFKAMH about his involvement with the boys. What he's doing currently is selfish and not in their best interest. They are too young to remember him and old enough to start getting confused by his random and sporadic phone calls in which he refers to himself as "daddy". Remind him that his opportunity has passed but that they may decide in the future, when they are at an age of being able to understand the whole situation better, to include him in their lives and that you have no intention of preventing that from happening. It has reached a point where he needs to let go of what he wants to be to them since he isn't.

8. Find the time to discuss the future with your mom. The last time you half-heartedly spoke about it, she was willing to make the plans to move closer to you and NS and the boys wherever it is that you end up after he transfers, but this was concluded during a conversation that began because of another moody spell of her husband's. This move is something you really want to happen, so you need to figure out if she still wants to do this or if she's going to stay in her marriage. Don't be shy about expressing your feelings and your desires for her life as well as your own, but don't criticize her final decision if it isn't what you hoped it would be.

9. Continue being part of the blogging community. Writing the blog has brought a lot of support and friendship to your world that you wouldn't have had otherwise. Reading others' blogs makes you laugh and cry and think; it's no different than sitting down to read a book at night, but this is easier to make time for.

10. The ability to see the positive outcomes in life's events is a quality to cherish and hold on to. Knowing that whatever happens is happening for a reason allows you to have peace and to be genuinely happy, so don't stop interpreting things this way.


fringes said...

Delicious advice. I think I'll write my own list tomorrow.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Oh, I can hardly wait!

Eunice said...

Hey, when did my conscience take over your blog?

briliantdonkey said...

I really liked this idea. I may do one myself as well.


Susan said...

Heck, I might do one too. I love #10.

mysterygirl! said...

This looks like very good advice. Writing it down seems like a really positive step towards enacting it! :)