Tuesday, December 05, 2006

My body is evil...

WARNING: Male readers may regret reading this.

I think my body and mind are playing some sort of game. My body seems to delight in using whatever methods available to scare my mind.

For the past two months, my period was the same, although strange. I would have a day or two of bleeding about 5-7 days before I should and then have another day or two when I should. Sucky, but at least it was consistent. This month? Let's see, I should have started 2-3 days ago. The skipping of the weird pre-bleeding was not a concern; I thought I was finally getting adjusted to these pills, but then not even starting on time...that did give me a little to worry over, especially considering I have had some days of overwhelming exhaustion and have been feeling nauseated on and off for nearly a week. While I can certainly attribute those things to other causes (exhaustion from illness, nausea from bug boys caught and passed around for 4 days), I did that once before and set myself up for a shocking discovery in later months, so I didn't want to be too quick to dismiss these things again.

So, naturally, I went to Dollar Tree last night to buy some pregnancy tests. I took one of them this morning. A bit of a side track...is a test that you can't pee directly on cheaper to make? Is that why these are a dollar when others are at least four or five? Collecting urine in a cup to then suction into a mini-sized dropper should not be the highlight of my morning. Back to the test...it was negative. As much as I'd love to be pregnant and have a baby, I am very thankful for this result. I think part of the reason my body is easily able to play these tricks with my mind is because I'm so paranoid about getting pregnant right now; the timing would be awful seeing as NS would be on deployment at the time of the birth.

Of course, after getting out of the shower, I pee once more and find those smears of red I'd been looking for for days...scheming, conniving, manipulative body;>


fringes said...

Whew! But either way it went, you would have been happy.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

That is definitely true, but the thought of going through a birth without the baby's father simply because he can't be there scares me.