Sunday, March 12, 2006

Didn't expect that (not really anyway)...

I received a very interesting message at a little after three this morning...from IFKAMH's girlfriend.

I hear the ring for a text/pix message on my phone. I had just gotten to sleep about 5 minutes before, and this woke me up in a bit of a daze because I rarely ever get messages from anyone other than NS, and he was sleeping right next to me, so it wasn't from him. I look at my phone and see that it is a message from her. I open my phone to read the messaage (I had assumed it was simply a text message), and I receive a picture of a newborn baby...a girl named Lillian with IFKAMH's (as well as mine and my boys') last name born 3/3 according to the message. She writes that she didn't know if I already knew and that she didn't want to upset me (somehow I don't believe that part) but that he has just not been truthful with her at all (join the club, girl) and to feel free to call if I want. She ends the message with the statement that she will not bother me again.

I turn to NS and show him my phone and say that it is my children's half-sister. He may or may not actually remember this because I'm not sure if he was actually awake. I said something about that blowing IFKAMH's claim about not having slept with her right out of the water, which I then had to explain to NS what I meant by out of the water (this is probably the most compelling reason for me to think that he was not actually awake during this conversation). I told him it meant that it is now obvious that he has slept with her (although I never believed his claim that he didn't...see january 31st post) and he can't hide it anymore.

My response to her was that I would call later and thanked her for letting me know but that I had already moved on and so was not at all upset. I did call her this afternoon, but got her voicemail. I left a message to indicate that I am sorry IFKMAH is the way he is (regardless of her blame for any of the situation, it shouldn't happen to anyone) and that I would be encouraging IFKAMH to stay where he is and be a real father for his daughter. I feel that is the best thing I can do. As if I didn't already believe it, I cannot see how IFKAMH's involvement in my boys' lives could be good, especially since it seems he has not become a better person and is definitely nothing like the kind of man I want my children to become. We are fine without him and will continue to be fine without him; I feel he has a chance to do things right this time and should take that opportunity rather than try to run away from her. That little girl will be so much better off if she can have a decent father, which I feel IFKAMH could be if he actually set out to be one.


Skyqueen said...

Now this is some Jerry Springer Shit!

Damn women! Glad your are AWAY form this guy!

What a fucktard!

I'll tell you what my mom always told me when I asked about my Dad. She said that She would NEVER have gone back and changed anything, b/c that would mean that she would never have her 2 kids.

That always made me feel good and seemed to end the conversation.

Tuck that away if you ever need it.

Just keep movin on! You're doing fine!

Jomama said...

OMG. That is crazy. You never knew she was pregnant? What an ass.

Also, I had a dream with you in it last night. I'm going to blog about it in a few minutes.

monkee said...

Damn girl- you can sell your story to Sex & the City.
Count your blessings that he is someone elses problem

Danielle said...

wow. i think u handled it very well. prolly wouldnt have upset me either but i think i would have ignored it completly, thats just how i would have responded.

Eunice said...

Wait...WHAT? So you're telling me that at about the time that he was insisting that he hadn't even so much as moved on (and shortly after he left you), and was talking about you guys working things out last summer, she was getting pregnant. Holy shit. I am SOOOOOO glad that he is out of your life. What a creep!

I would have been incredibly upset to get that news, and I think it's weird that she told you, although I'm glad she did. I think you handled it GREAT, especially with all things considered.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

skyqueen - I already believe that philosophy of your mom's. I've already come to the understanding (since I believe that everything happens for a reason) that the reason I loved him and never saw any problems was for the purpose of having my boys because if things had been different, then they wouldn't be here, and I can't stand the thought of that.

jomama - nope...had no clue she was pregnant. IFKAMH's mom had asked him some time, maybe a couple months after I moved back to VA, if she was pregnant, and he lied and said she wasn't.

monkee - thanks...I am glad;>

danielle - I think my not ignoring it was probably better. She hasn't contacted me again, which I think may have been because she realized I really wasn't upset by it. I think she was hoping to win some imaginary battle she thought we had over him and was disappointed with the calm response she got.

eunice - exactly...she was either pregnant or getting pregnant while he was telling me he wanted to work things out between us. I suspect his "confusion" was a result of her pregnancy announcement. If he had said as much, I would have understood since it is rather difficult to decide to return to the children and wife you abandoned already whilst abandoning another woman and child...makes quite the predicament;>