Thursday, January 05, 2006

Nice and scary...

NS is still being a total sweetie, but he's kind of freaking me out a little bit...not enough for me to run, but enough for me to wonder what is going on in his mind. I think he believes he has some serious feelings for me, which is nice but very scary to me. The "L" word has not been dropped, but there have been several times where it felt like he wanted to say it but held back. I really hope he continues to hold back, if that's what he's been doing, because I don't know what my response would be. I really don't believe we know each other well enough to feel that strongly about each other. While he is very sweet and kind and different from every other man I've been with, I don't feel like I "know" him, and I know he doesn't know me. Most of this ties into not knowing much about each others' pasts. I don't know how many girlfriends he's had or how the relationships ended; I do know he hasn't spoken unkindly about any women from his past (two have been mentioned briefly), which I've read is a good sign. The only relationship from my past he knows about is IFKAMH, and that may very well be the only one that counts as a "relationship", but I certainly have more than him in my past. Maybe that stuff doesn't really matter...I just don't know. I do know I'm scared to even think about falling in love again, but I'm trying not to be completely guarded, emotionally speaking, because I don't want to live like that.

The other freakishly scary thing is that he seems to be planning for his future based somewhat on what I want. Last week at lunch, the topic of places to live came up. He was talking about Charleston, South Carolina, and I mentioned my previous desire to move to Galveston, Texas, before ending up back home in Virginia. He said he wouldn't mind moving to Texas and should certainly be able to get a job there. I couldn't help but think why he felt he needed to be okay with living in Texas if he didn't want to. The next night when we were out, he told me about how he was searching for places where he could get a job after he gets out of the Navy. He said there was a place about 50 miles south of Galveston in Texas that looked good. So, while he didn't mention me in these plans, they seem to have somehow been created based, at least in part, on what I said about where I'd like to live, but I don't know that I'd want to move anywhere (guess that goes right along with the scared to fall in love thing because I think I would move somewhere if it was with someone that I love and it was going to be the kind of job he's looking into). Good thing all of these plans are years down the road;>

2 comments:

Danielle said...

Wow gurl, he sounds like he is getting serious!

Anonymous said...

Any guy who would try and move that quickly is not only pathetic, but he's obviously desperate too.

He must be even uglier than I thought! I mean, any guy who goes for a single mom, with no job, who lives with her parents, is essentially a useless human being and as a total whore, would HAVE to have been rejected by just about every other woman out there!

Danielle, you could benefit from a spelling lesson. The world girl isn't spelloed with a "u" you retard. But then again, you HAVE to be retard to like woo, so I guess it's to be expected...