Friday, October 28, 2005

The men update...

So, Danielle was wondering about the men update, which was lacking in my last post...

Navy guy is out of the picture. He seemed kind of boring in our email exchanges and then freaked me out by suggesting that I meet him for the first time and bring my boys since I didn't have a sitter. He obviously doesn't understand the concept of not introducing every guy I meet or date to my children...that would so confuse them since their daddy disappeared into thin air. For now, my rule is six months before any guy gets to meet my children...and that may change if I don't think the relationship is going to last much longer than that. So, I never responded to his invitation and haven't heard from him since.

Airforce drummer has been missing from the past several posts...with good reason. The last time we went out, I found out he had been less than truthful about something that is very important to me. He apparently likes to smoke (cigarettes and cigars) occasionally, which was not quite what was on his Yahoo profile since that said he doesn't smoke. Here's how it happened...

I was standing at the bar, he and his friend were behind me talking. He leans to my ear and asks if this will bother me...he is holding a cigarette in his hand. I didn't say a word, but I'm guessing my eyes said that it would bother me very much and how dare he ask such an asinine question since he promptly said that he was wrong to ask and handed the cigarette back to his friend. Later on that night, his friend, now even more drunk, tries to offer him his cigarette. Airforce drummer turns him down and then says to me, "Aren't you proud of me? You know I wanted to."

No, I wasn't proud of him. The bottom line is that IFKAMH did the same thing. Our first fight was over him smoking when he told me he wouldn't. I was not a good enough reason for him not to smoke as it turned out because he continued to do it behind my back and lie to me about it for years. I emailed Airforce drummer and explained that smoking is a non-negotiable issue for me and that I couldn't be the reason someone didn't do something they wanted to do...again. He responded that he understood and that it's only something he does when he goes out to bars, which is rare (funny that is where we were two out of three dates). And that was it...no more Airforce drummer.

Now, Mr. Sexy and I are trying to coordinate schedules to meet up again. He called yesterday morning to let me know that he may have to work this weekend because it is the weekend before Halloween and there are a lot of events that the paper he is working for may need him to be there for but that he would try to come down sometime during the week if that was the case...because he would love to see me soon.

Not much excitement, but that is the latest...other than I have 60+ messages in my Yahoo Personals mailbox that I've got to get through;>

5 comments:

Eunice said...

I am so glad that you stick to your guns about things like smoking or at what point to involve your kids in the relationship. How are you going to find a guy that will be true to you if you chose not to be true to yourself?

I, Gladiator said...

hey woo-woo...was just reading your blog...which I enjoy immensely...and I realize that IFKAMH is behind alot of the reasons why you are unable to tolerate smoking...and yes, Mr. Airforce drummer lied to you about smoking...but can't you be a little easier than that?? You seem to be very easy going in general, which is really pleasant because there aren't too many people like...but can't you live and let live with the cigarettes??

i can understand if it was around your boys or if you were allergic to them and you guys were in a small space like a car...but for Godsakes, don't take the issue that you have with IFKAMH and place them on him...even if he is just a lying bastard.

Skyqueen said...

Woo,
NO WAY, stick to your guns. Do you KNOW how nasty it is to kiss a smoker....Oh YES you do, who cares if he does it around you or not. It's NASTY and who wants to go out w/ someone w/ an oxygen tank in tow. I see it here in Vegas ALL the time. Ummmm NO THANKS!

Danielle said...

Heeeeey gurl!!!!!!! sorry i havent been around took a few days off!!! thanks for the update!!!! ur lifeis so much more exciting in the men department than mine!!! I agree Navy guy saying bringing the boys is a lil weird for a first time meet!!!

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

I, Gladiator...my issues with smoking go back at least a decade before I even met IFKAMH. I was one of those awful children that hated smoking so much that I would break and throw away perfectly good packs of cigarettes and hang my head out the car window gasping for my clean air (my parents were smokers...dad my still be one, but mom quit years ago). My issue with being the reason someone doesn't smoke did develop from my experiences with IFKAMH. So, nope, I can't just live and let live with that issue. Everyone's got those "must have" requirements no matter how easy-going they are...no smoking is just one of mine.