Tuesday, October 04, 2005

How much should we censor...or should we?

I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately...wondering how I want to handle things with my boys as they get older. And this post on jomama's blog made me decide to blog about it.

How much information should be kept from children? Isn't it better for them to have the information and process it and discuss it and realize that life isn't perfect than to feel misunderstood and alone? Why are books banned from school libraries? Who the hell cares what they're reading? If they find something that interests them...doesn't it only serve to help them use their imaginations to fill in the pictures and really see what their minds are capable of and maybe even help them find a possible outlet to use for expression?

I struggle with this when it comes to movies and t.v., too. Wouldn't it be better if I don't try so hard to limit what they see (which never seems to work) but rather approach it with the attitude that I will explain anything they don't understand or what isn't acceptable behavior? I see an ad nearly everyday about using the v-chip or parental controls for blocking certain channels or program ratings from viewing without a passcode, and all I can think is how that is such a lousy way to parent.


The Seeker said...

Censoring just leads to them getting the information somewhere else... I did... Look where I am now. LOL

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

That's pretty much what I'm thinking;>

Danielle said...

ai agre with the seeker, the more you sensor/hide, sometimes the more they want and will get it somewhere else.

GA girl said...

My mom never said we couldn't watch anything on tv or that we shouldn't read certain things. I know friends right now that do, and others that don't, and I'm on the fence. My friend w/the 2 boys, she censors everything to the point that her 9yr old gets nightmares from Scooby Doo because he's too scary. that's wrong. But, that day I was at D's and he, his son, and I were watching Scary Movie, that creeped me out too. Watching sex scenes with a 10yr old is wrong too. I know I watched those movies and shows when I was that age, but not with my mom. So I have no clue what I'll do if the situation ever arises. I'd say though, they are less likely to grow up messed up if you let them watch what they want than if you only allow G in the house. Hell, i saw my first R movie in the theatre when I was 7 and I'm not scarred from it. I would just monitor the amount of sex they take in until they are teen/preteen at least. But, if you don't have pay channels(HBO, Showtime, Skinamax), then that's not really a worry. The other channels seem to already censor what they put on. You have a few years to sort it out anyway. Good luck!

Eunice said...

I think that by giving them that "sheltered" life, you're almost guaranteed that they will become wildly curious as they get older. I'd rather know that they are educated and can make informed decisions as they get older. My mom first had "the talk" with me when I was 9...some people thought she was a little premature, but believe me, I wasn't interested in exploring because of it.

Michele in Michigan said...

Shielding them from certain things is fine, but this over-the-top censorship is bullshit.

It was our choice to limit video games to non-violent. I do feel that prolonged exposure to gory violence desensitizes some people. I have a bigger issue exposing my kids to excessive violence, blood and gore than nudity & sex.

We openly talk about sex and porn in our house, mostly because the kids are all hormonal and I'd rather they get their info from ME than internet porn LOL. I am all about the physical & emotional aspects of sex, but NOT that the "normal" way for a blowjob (according to the internet) is for the guy to thrust so deep & hard that she vomits. There is just too much vile shit out there nowadays, including being shit on during/in place of sex.

My kids (now 12 & 18) & their friends all come to me for discussion & advice. I think that's pretty cool. It's probably cuz I say "fuck" a lot in front of all of them LOL ;)

I guess, in the end, all things in moderation. But let US do the moderating, not some religious or political asswipe "who knows what is best for us."

Friend of a Friend said...

I couldn't disagree more with all of you. Your primary goal as a parent is to protect your children. Will they find things out? Sure. And when they do you have to be prepared to discuss things with them. But teaching them to cuss and telling them porn is alright - you are raising the next generation of white trash when you do that! Let them grow up - don't MAKE them grow up.

Buffalo said...

My folks didn't censor and I don't believe in censorship. As a general rule something that is way over a kid's head they will blow off if the parent doesn't make a big deal of it.

I think a parent should try to make things age appropriate - to encourage age appropriate. To hide, to freak out....just makes it a bigger deal. Parent's reaction is most important.

And the person that says not censoring leads to the creation of white trash......or trash of any kind....is full of it.

Excellent question, sweetie. Hope you find your answer. That you asked is a mark of your caring.